Crab Cakes and Light Beer

The Feds gave Tejada new 'new' news yesterday.

The Swinging Bunt

• No Habla Inglés? I feel just awful for former O’s shortstop Miguel Tejada. All thanks to those snooping know-it-all’s in the United States Government, Miggy found out a few years back he’s actually a few years older than he thought… and now they’re saying he’s a drug user too! Jeez, it’s gotta be depressing when the Feds know more about you than you, yourself.
• It Wasn’t Me! 8 suspects have now been arrested in connections with Michael Phelps ‘Bong Gate.’ Not surprisingly, they’re denying the allegations. One member of the group accuses Phelps of actually toking with fellow Olympic Buddies Mark Spitz, Carl Lewis, Mary Lou Retton, Rulon Gardner, Sugar Ray Leonard, and Kerri Strug. He also notes, rounding out the smoke sess was Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt, who brought the wacco tobacco and hip hop artist Lil’ Wayne, who mysteriously takes a hit of every bowl smoked by anyone he has ever met. I think the SNL after party that went on after Phelps and Young Weezy co-starred was, needless to say, hazy.
• If You Could Switch Lives with Anyone for a Day? While your answer to this question might change on a regular basis, I might be set on an answer for a little bit… Leonardo DiCaprio. How about going home after a long day on set to HER! In case you missed it, Leo’s gal-pal, Bar Refaeli, has been selected to be SI’s 2009 Swimsuit Edition Cover Girl. C’mon, seriously?
• Going, Going, Gone! The “water pipe” Phelps used was briefly posted on E-Bay starting with an auction price of $100,000 before being taking down within hours of appearing on the site. Most offers came from girls age 12-16 trying to get their hands on anything related to Michael Phelps, but the highest offer apparently came from the kid in the Dell commercials years back. Duuuuuude you’re NOT getting a Dell, or Phelps’ bong.
• Jay Greene of UMBC Strikes for 36 in W over New Hampshire. University of Maryland Coach Gary Williams is hot on the recruiting trail for Greene. Williams has come under fire recently for not scouting Baltimore County well enough and figures the 5′8 160lb Greene can have an immediate impact next season for the Terps. When told he will be out of playing eligibility after four years with the Retrievers and Coach Williams said, “That’s something for the my Athletics Department and NCAA Clearing House to worry about.”

Scanning the Blogosphere

The Sporting Blog says Tejada’s future will be in the next All-Drug Olympics.

The Sports Culture has a funny video about ‘Bong Gate’ and other various Sports Pop-Culture topics.

Casey Willett, WNST Insider, fields the Orioles All-Mitchell Report Team.

Big League Stew says Tejada needs a “government bailout.”

SI’s Andrew Perloff examines the perception of steroids in the NFL vs. MLB.

With Leather accurately points out, Danica Patrick is on a car, in a bikini.

Kissing Suzy Kolber wonders has Big Ben had too many Choco Taco’s and are Bengals fans getting too drunk?

Sports by Brooks, says Ravens nemesis Ben Rothlesberger might be lying to the Steelers about his broken ribs.

B-More’s Birds’ Nest is thankful at least someone in Baltimore is relevent to baseball.

The Ebony Bird has given out their final Ravens Season Awards.

CMS Video of the Day

Perhaps the ultimate homage to Cal.

Last Call

Last Tuesday on CBS’ Late Show with David Letterman, the pride of Muncie, Indiana, took a few shots at the Baltimore Bullet in his evening Top 10… Drum role please… from the Home Office in Wahoo, Nebraska…

10. Anxious to rid myself of those bothersome multi-billion dollar endoresements.

9. Too much chlorine.

8. Uh… I thought it was chap-stick.

7. Asked myself, “What would Chong do?”

6. Uh… glaucoma?

5. It’s my last chance to goof off before I have to settle down and get a real swimming job.

4. Uh, I got bitten by a groundhog?

3. Chillax, Broseph.

2. Was doing research for the upcoming film “Michael and Kumar Go to the Olympics.”

1. Huh?

You’ve all been a great crowd. Check back in tomorrow. This is Crab Cakes and Light Beer.